Before Bed Snack

For many years I have had a bowl of cereal before bed, nearly always Kellogg’s Frosted Mini-Wheats. That’s probably not the best thing for my girlish figure, but it’s an indulgence I’ve always allowed myself. Until today. Well, not because I’m worried about my waistline. Kellogg’s announced that they will pull all advertising from Breitbart because all 45 million of us who read Breitbart are apparently out of step with their values.

Here’s my letter/e-mail to John Bryant, the CEO of Kellogg’s.

Hi John,

I read about your decision to end your relationship with Breitbart so I wanted to share with you the end of another very long relationship – mine with Kellogg’s Frosted Mini-Wheats. For as long as I can remember, at least 30 years, I have had a bowl of Frosted Mini-Wheats before bed. In my house, we call it “Basketball Cereal.”

Funny story – when my son, who’s now 23, was about 5 years old, Grant Hill was on the Mini-Wheats box soaring high above the rim. So, my son started calling it basketball cereal. The name stuck. I think it embarrasses him now when I call it B-ball cereal. All the more reason to do it! So, it’s not without some sadness and nostalgia that B-ball cereal is now forever banished from my house.

Breitbart has served an important role in our national media, though I don’t always agree with all of their stories. More important, I simply have no interest in politicizing my breakfast cereal (or, more accurately, my before bed snack cereal). It’s regretful that you made such a poor decision that 45 million of us who read Breitbart should stop eating your products, but you’ve left me no choice. Heck, it might even be good for my waistline – there are a few cals in the ol’ B-ball cereal. If you change your mind and decide to focus on what you’re good at (making yummy sugary cereal) and stay out of the realm of things you’re not so good at (politics), please send me an e-mail and I’ll head over to the grocery store and restock on B-ball cereal.

Oh yeah, and this is important enough that I plan to write a blog about it so my readers hopefully make similar decisions!

Yours in yummy little sugary cubes of wheat,

Bruce Robertson


About Bruce Robertson

Bruce Robertson is an amateur writer and professional provocateur
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4 Responses to Before Bed Snack

  1. Nancy Ketterman says:

    Bruce, during the 2004 election campaign, I had a coworker who was determined not to eat anything made by the Heinz company, so that he wouldn’t inadvertently contribute in any way to John Kerry’s campaign.

    I can still remember the shock and horror on Nick’s face as he read the packaging that had contained that day’s microwaveable meal, and discovered that Heinz was responsible for it. The meal was already in the microwave, and Nick was trying to decide whether to go ahead and eat it, since it was nearly hot. He elected to throw it in the trash, despite the fact that the damage was already done, since he’d paid for the thing. I admired him for his stand, and admire you for yours.

    • Ah, Nancy, I feel for Nick. I too gave up Heinz ketchup during that period. Thankfully, I don’t eat many microwave meals, but perhaps I inadvertently consumed some Heinz products! When George H.W. Bush was running, I drank only Busch beer (OK, different spelling, but cut me some slack) during the election. I was so happy when the election was over!

  2. Mary Lynn Wilson says:

    Oh, Bruce, what are we going to do? I wrote Mr. Bryant. I told him we are empty nester’s that eat cereal for dinner because it’s late and I don’t want to prepare anything. Sugar Pops was my go-to cereal. How can a “Heartland” company think that that was a good idea. I explained to him that there aren’t any cereal trucks out here on the left coast; hmmmmm, Left Coast Cereal Truck, these millennials would flock to it, especially if I add “organic”, “artisan” and “small batch” to the name. You’d be amazed at the number of stores with safety pin posters in their windows. These are places where my shadow will never cross their doorstep again. I’m feeling like Chick-fil-A for dinner.

    • Mary Lynn, the inability of companies to understand that this garbage is coming from a very few number of leftist soles on the coasts is mind boggling. Mr. Bryant’s job is to sell pop tarts, not make the extreme left happy! If I were on his board, I would fire him tomorrow.

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