My Child’s Special Talent

This story happened about seven or eight years ago, but came up at breakfast this morning and is worth retelling. We attended a mini-reunion of sorts with a bunch of folks I went to grad school with back in the 80s. One of my former classmates hosted a daytime BBQ at their house. Many of us hadn’t seen many others of us much in the intervening twenty or so years and, thus, many of the kids were new to the group. The age ranges were roughly newborn through about age twelve. My daughter was about seven or eight years old. It was great to see everyone again and get to know the members of the next generation.

After a few hours and a few beers (for the adults), the hostess of the party had the idea to have all the kids introduce themselves. She’s a consummate organizer of activities so she had all the kids, probably fifteen or twenty who were old enough to orate, get in a circle in their family room. She asked each of them to introduce themselves, say who their parents were, and, the kicker, tell everyone what their “special talent” is. The hostess had prepped all the parents for this so that the type A parents had plenty of time to coach their children to play hard in the game of “my eight year old is more accomplished than your eight year old.” Unfortunately, I think Terri and I were too engrossed in our beers to put much effort to this.

So the game began. It went something like this.

“My name is Trevor Jones. My mom and dad are Susie and Jim. I play classical piano and flute.”

“My name is Christina Smith. My mom and dad are Mary and Bill. I play violin and I play on the travel soccer team.”

It went on like this for a while until it finally got around to our daughter. As we saw how this game was being played, we realized we had to step in and whisper to Petra what her special skill was.

My name is Petra. My mom and dad are Terri and Bruce and this is my special skill….”

Upon which, she reach her hand under her shirt, put her hand in her armpit and produced the most perfect string of armpit farts you’ve ever heard in your life. Game, set, match.

About Bruce Robertson

Bruce Robertson is an amateur writer and professional provocateur
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1 Response to My Child’s Special Talent

  1. I LOVE Petra. I wish I could have been there. Girl after my own heart.

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