From the Washington Post
In a move that surprised some NFL insiders, former Yorktown High School (Arlington, Virginia) Patriots head coach, Anthony Romasco, has been named to the Washington Redskins’ vacant head coaching job. Despite Romasco having never coached above the high school level and having only coached perennially losing high school teams, Redskins’ owner, Little Daniel Snyder, is making the case that Romasco is perfect for the job. “Let’s face it,” Snyder said yesterday from his Potomac, Maryland estate, “Coach ‘Masco is a real dope. But, we view that as a positive. We’ve reviewed hundreds of hours of microfiche from the late 1970s Yorktown teams and he was obviously clueless. I think he’ll fit right into Redskins nation.”
For his part, Romasco is also excited about the coaching opportunity. “Last time I coached football, I had Herbie Mancini as my starting quarterback. Herb was a real gamer, but he was only 5’6” and couldn’t remotely see past the line of scrimmage. Apparently, they got this kid on the Redskins named Argee Three who’s pretty dang good, but also not the tallest guy in the world. I still have the plays I wrote for Herbie in my files so I think I’m pretty much set to go.”
Some Redskins insiders were also surprised by the move. “I thought they might hire a guy with some pro coaching experience, or at least someone from the college ranks. I didn’t think they’d dip all the way into the high school coaching pool,” said former Redskins GM Vinny Cerrato. “But, I have nothing but respect for Dan Snyder as the consummate football man. I am sure he uncovered a real diamond in the rough with Coach ‘Masco.”
Others were less sure the move was the right one for the Skins. “Don’t get me wrong, hiring a high school coach could make a lot of sense for this team,” commented Hall of Fame Redskins running back John Riggins. “I just thought they might hire someone with more recent experience and, uh, maybe a winning record in high school.”
While this paper has had trouble getting exact statistics for Romasco’s coaching career due to the lack of an Internet when Romasco coached his last game for Yorktown, we have been able to dig up some stats. According to the 1979 Grenadier, the annual yearbook of Yorktown High School, Romasco’s Patriots turned in a 1-9 campaign that season. However, the Grenadier also noted that the team’s lone victory over McLean High School was “a thriller.” That same edition of the Grenadier also noted that Romasco’s 1979 Patriots received “tremendous fan support and caravans to all away games.” One source, who requested anonymity for this article, indicated that the caravans to away games were “more about the Schlitz beer and weed than the game, but, yes, we did get at least as far as the parking lot at the away games.”
Many football insiders believe Romasco will have a difficult time rebuilding the 3-13 Redskins due to lack of depth and very few picks in the upcoming draft. The Redskins traded either three or four picks to the Rams for the right to draft Argee Three. Romasco, however, seemed unconcerned. “I’ve been on the phone nonstop since I got the nod as Skins head coach. I have already reached Joe Dooley, Doug Wiley, Jimmy Palmer, Steve Wingate, Jonathan Adams, Iman Poeraatmadja, and Ed Sadauskas. These guys played their hearts out on my ’79 Yorktown team so I’m bringing ‘em all back.” When this reporter pointed out that these players were all now in their early 50’s and mostly out of shape and overweight, Romasco seemed confused and unable to address the question.
For his part, Little Daniel Snyder has promised Coach ‘Masco “full control of all football decisions.” He went on to say, “Hey man, I’m serious. I’m bringing in a very experienced football guy. If he thinks the best thing for the Redskins is bringing back his old high school guys from the late 70’s, then that’s what this football team will do.”
In a related story, sales of replica Yorktown High School jerseys are now available for $129.99 in the Redskins merchandise stores.