There was a time in my life where I could honestly say that I had not missed a single Redskins game, either on TV or in person, for about 25-30 years. My streak started when I was about 10 years old and ran well into my late 30s, allowing some reprieves when I was in college and they weren’t televised in Philadelphia. Since that time, I’ve missed parts of games here and there and used DVR to watch them on delay and more quickly. But, by and large, this pathetic football team, which hasn’t won squadoosh since 1992, has continued to control my and my family’s Sunday schedule for many years.
Backgrounder pause: My daughter spent the night at a friend’s house Saturday night. They have 6 kids, ranging in age from 9 to 32 and the grandparents spend every other weekend with them. The activity level in their house makes Grand Central Station look serene by comparison. When we picked her up Sunday morning, they were in the middle of a big family arts & crafts project to make little reindeer out of wine corks and pipe cleaners. On the way home, my daughter said she wished we had more kids in our house and that we could do a big craft project too. My wife and I quickly discussed the “more kids” angle and voted nay. So, it was on to the family arts & crafts idea. We agreed that was a splendid idea, just as soon as the Redskins game was over.
Nope, not good enough. My daughter wanted the Robertson arts & crafts session to start ASAP. So, there I was, faced with the existential question of whether to watch yet another ass-thrashing of the Redskins or do a craft project with my wife and daughter. I pictured myself back in 1992, just days after the Skins had beaten Buffalo for their third Super Bowl win in 10 years.* I imagined someone coming up to me and saying, “Wow, great game for the Skins, dude. But, you know what – in 20 years, that team will suck so monumentally, you’d rather do arts & crafts on Sunday than watch football.”
Arts & crafts it was.
Here’s what I have been able to produce on a typical Sunday over the past 20 years.
Here’s what I produced yesterday.
*Note to Eagles fans. Congrats on being in first place in the most pathetic division in football. In case you’re struggling with the math, let me help y’all with how many Super Bowl rings you have. OK, carry, the 1. Oh yeah, zero.